Karaoke Every Friday
& Saturday Night!

$1.00 Drafts
Every Day!

5 TV's For All
Sports Fans!

---

Book Your Parties Here! Birthdays, Holidays, Retirements, Special Occasions - Call 810.742.9670
Yanni's Opa Bar Located at 3301 Davison Rd. Flint Michigan 48506 - Click Here for Directions.

---

OPA! Bar & Grill Bar Jokes Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe. "I want to get weighed," said Kim. They ambled over to the 'weight guessed'. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the Ferris wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do. "I want to get weighed," she said. And back to the 'weight guessed' they went. Since they had been here before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded. By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake. Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?" Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy." Two women were talking about their lives since they had become Nursing Home Residents. They both agreed that life was good but one woman, Ethel, said she was rather upset because her sex life had really died out since she and her husband had come to the nursing home. The other woman said that her sex life was great! "The secret to great sex is this," the woman told her, "when my husband is getting ready for bed, I get undressed, lay on the bed and put both legs behind my head. When he comes out and sees me like that he gets so excited, we have wild sex the rest of the night!" Ethel says, "I'm going to try that tonight!" When Ethel's husband is getting ready in the bathroom that night, she takes off all her clothes. Although it's a struggle, she gets one leg up and behind her head. Pretty soon, she has the other leg behind her head as well. After accomplishing this great feat, Ethel falls backwards and can't move. It's not too long before her husband comes out of the bathroom. With a shocked look on his face, her husband yells "For God's sake Ethel, comb your hair and put your teeth in, you look like an ass!" A woman went in for a physical the other day. The doctor asked her to disrobe. When she did the doctor noticed she had a big red "H" on her chest. The doctor said; that's strange. How did you get the red "H" on your chest? The woman replied: "My husband went to Harvard and loved the school so much he never takes his block sweater off.. even when we make love." Several days later; another woman came into the doctor's office for a physical. The doctor went through the same routine. After she disrobed, the doctor noticed she had a big "M" on her chest. Not wanting to appear stupid, the doctor said: "Your boyfriend must have gone to Michigan." The woman responded" "I don't know what you are talking about, but my girlfriend went to Wisconsin." "Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "and I've decided to give your wife $275 a week." "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself." A guy walks into a bar with a frog. He sits next to this real attractive lady, places the frog up on the counter, and orders a drink. The lady says "thats a disgusting looking frog you got there." The guys says, "Yeah well lemmie tell ya something... this here frog is THE BEST damn pussy eater you ever seen." The lady is outraged and says so then promptly gets up and moves across the bar. A few hours pass.... The lady has had more then her share, and starts thinking about the frog... So she staggers back up to the guy and says, "OK prove it!". They run get a hotel room.. the lady gets nude and is lying on the bed with legs spread open wide. The guy takes the frog and puts it in position, then demmands, "GO HOMER!".... the frog lays there....he commands again... "GO HOMER" the frog still does nothing.... he picks up the frog and tosses into the corner and says, "If I've shown ya once ... I've shown ya 1000 times .. .....now watch how its done!" There were these two nude statues in a park, male and female, who always stared at each other. One day, a wizard came up to them and said, "this is your 200th anniversary so I am going to give you just 30 minutes of humanity so spend it well." The wizard waved his wand and the two statues went behind one of the big trees and the wizard heard giggles laughs and saw a little hanky panky but nothing much. After fifteen minutes they came out exhausted and the wizard asked why don't they do it again so as not to waste their 15 minutes. The male statue said to the female statue "Ok, but this time you hold the pigeon and I'll crap on it." Men VS. Women EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Bob and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. CATS: Women love cats. Most men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats. FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items. SUCCESS: A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want. MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does. NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. More Later! » Back to Top